Archive for May, 2011

People are creatures of habit, so when we move, we find ourselves totally out of our comfort zone. Whether it’s just moving to a new apartment, home, workplace, or to a different city or town, our lives are totally disrupted, and it takes time to adjust to our new surroundings. During this adjustment period, we find ourselves feeling lost and confused for many good reasons.

1. Can’t find anything – Now that you’ve got everything unpacked, you can’t remember where you put anything. You spend more time looking for what you need then actually getting anything done.
2. Simple tasks are difficult – Even the most menial task, like brushing your teeth, becomes a chore. Something you never gave a thought to before gets frustrating as you reach for the toothpaste or toothbrush and they’re not in their usual place.
3. Different layout – People don’t realize how much they rely on muscle memory until they move into new surroundings. You constantly find yourself going the wrong direction and end up running into things. It’s especially annoying when you get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and run into the wall.
4. Driving is a challenge – If you just moved to a new neighborhood or a new workplace, you find yourself lost just driving or walking around. You’re so used to just going from here to there without thinking about it and find yourself heading back to your old neighborhood or constantly in the wrong lane.
5. Can’t sleep – If you’re like me, sleeping in unfamiliar surroundings is very difficult. Your body gets used to a certain nightly routine, so when that gets disrupted, sleep can be very illusive. This only adds to your feelings of being lost.
6. Change habits – Old habits die hard and moving forces you to change just about everything. From getting dressed in the morning to putting away the dishes, everything you do has you going in circles. No wonder you feel totally lost!
7. Unfamiliar surroundings – No matter how crappy the place you used to live was, it was your crappy place. Now, everywhere you turn, nothing is familiar anymore. This can give you a real feeling of uneasiness that can be hard to shake.
8. New neighbors – Your feeling of isolation is only compounded when you realize you don’t know your neighbors anymore. It was so comforting to know that you could count on your buddy across the street to help you out in a pinch.
9. Stop and think – You can’t help feeling lost and confused when you have to stop and think about it before you do anything. This can almost put you into a state of paralysis.
10. Friends and family – Nothing makes you feel more lost than being without your friends or family close by. The loneliness of moving to a new area only intensifies your feeling of bereavement.

Just remember that feeling lost after moving is fairly common and completely understandable. As your body becomes accustomed to your new routines, you feel less disoriented each day. New muscle memories are developed and you get used to your new driving routes. Making new friends and getting to know your neighbors make it only a matter of time before you start feeling right at home.

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The purchase of a new home is a difficult decision. It is hard to know for sure whether you’re going to like the home or the new neighborhood until after you’ve moved in. There are times when someone buys a home and regrets the decision shortly afterwards. Here are 10 signs to watch for, when you suspect a case of buyer’s remorse.

1. Unpacked boxes – Is their garage still filled with unpacked boxes several weeks later? Does it seem like they are in no hurry to settle into the new home? These could be indications of buyer’s remorse.
2. No décor on the walls – Are they taking their time about hanging pictures on the walls and putting out the family photos? This could be another sign of uncertainty about the new home.
3. Scanning the real estate section – Are they still scanning the real estate section daily after their purchase? If they’re still looking, that would give some indication that there is some dissatisfaction which their choice.
4. Seeking affirmation – Do they seem to be looking for others to reassure them that they’ve made the right decision? This could indicate the uncertainty they are feeling. Another sign of buyer’s remorse.
5. Use of PO Box – If they choose to have their mailing address changed to a P.O. Box instead of having the mail delivered to the new address, this could be a sign that they are uncertain about whether they will be staying at the new address.
6. No house warming – Have your friends always made a big dealing about moving into a new house by throwing a big house warming party? If that doesn’t seem to be happening this time around, that could be another sign that they are experiencing some buyer’s remorse.
7. Visits to real estate open houses – Are they continuing to visit real estate open houses after they signed the deal on the new home? That would be another indicator of uncertainty about their decision.
8. New For Sale sign – Has the old For Sale sign been replaced with a new one? This is a definite ‘sign’ (forgive the pun) that there is some big dissatisfaction going on within the home.
9. No invites to visit – Do your friends seem slow to start showing off their new home? Most people are excited to show off their new digs. This could be a sign that they aren’t happy with their purchase.
10. Furniture in storage – Did they move some of their furniture into storage instead of into the house? This could mean that they don’t expect to be staying in the new home very long and may be looking for another place before giving their furniture a permanent home.

Of course, some of these signs could be present simply due to the busyness of moving and procrastination in getting settled. A new For Sale sign would probably be the most definite clue.

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Occasionally we may have the opportunity to live close to some of our relatives. It could be our parents or a sibling. Or it may be members of your extended family, such as aunts and uncles, or cousins. Living close to our relatives is not always a positive thing. Here are ten reasons why such a choice can have negative results.

1. Privacy – If you have relatives living in your neighborhood, they are more likely to pay more attention to what you do or don’t do, than the average neighbor. They are also more likely to share that information with other relatives, as well.
2. Interference – For some reason, relatives are more likely to give unrequested advice on how you should live your life or raise your children. Having relatives nearby can mean unwanted interference in your personal life.
3. Expectations – When you live close to relatives, you can’t use distance as an excuse for not spending time with them. There may be a greater expectation of involvement in their lives because of your close proximity.
4. Appreciation – ‘Absence makes the heart grow fonder’ is the old saying. When relatives are located nearby, we often don’t appreciate our time with them as much as we would if our access to them was more limited.
5. Holidays – There can be expectations on their part or your part, that you will spend holidays together, because of living near each other. This expectation can cause misunderstandings and friction when both families don’t share that same expectation.
6. Birthdays – Having relatives who live close by can mean lots of birthdays where you are either expected to attend the celebration or at a minimum provide a gift. If you lived in different towns, the expectation would not be as great.
7. Unexpected Visits – When relatives live close by, it can be very convenient for them to stop by and visit without giving you any notice. Some people are comfortable with these types of visits, but many people prefer to be consulted before visitors show up on their door step.
8. Favoritism – Other relatives can easily make charges of favoritism being shown between the relatives that live near each other. This can cause unnecessary friction within the extended family.
9. Guilty by Association – Just because a family is related to you, doesn’t mean that they will have the same kind of lifestyle or reputation that you have. Your family may gain negative associations from others in your community simply because of your family connections.
10. Offense – All the things listed above can lead to members of your families being offended by the actions, or lack thereof, by your two families. This kind of emotional drama can be an added source of stress.

There can be many benefits to having relatives living close to your family. Unfortunately, there can be negatives as well. Choosing to live close to relatives is a decision that should be considered carefully.

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